Tell Me Lies
by Auror Borealis
Summary: An object lesson in the hazards of Veritaserum. Snape/Hermione
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, not making any money off 'em. 

Spoilers: As with everything I write, I'm assuming you've read all four published books. If you haven't, you're taking your chances here.

Summary: An object lesson in the hazards of Veritaserum. Snape/Hermione

****

This will be an SS/HG fic, promise. But if you have any other cherished ship preferences, I'm not going to be responsible for your disappointment in possible eventual pairings. Subplot ships may turn out to be het or slash. Be warned. 

There is SLASH in this fic. 

Rating: PG-13, will probably go up

****

Tell Me Lies

by Auror Borealis

"About time you got here, Snape." Sirius Black leaned his hip against his desk and surveyed the Potions Master insolently. Black, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, had a long, turbulent history with Severus Snape. The two circled around each other like wary dogs, which was half right. Snape could practically see the hackles on Black's neck rise at his own proximity. That was all right; he felt the same. 

"Down, boy," he said with a sneer. After Black's name was cleared the year before, his status as an animagus capable of transforming into a dog had become public knowledge. Tense laughter at this insult swept through the classroom. The two teachers had never come to blows or worse in front of students, but the potential crackled between them. Three seventh year Gryffindors, in particular, fingered their wands nervously inside their robes. There was no telling when the need to intervene might arise. 

Snape set a small glass bottle on the desk and turned to leave.

"Oh, come on, Snape, don't you want to see if it works or not?"

Snape stopped in his tracks, as Black had no doubt guessed he would. The Head of Slytherin's chief vanity was his knowledge of the art and science of Potions. To have his competence questioned, even by a comment obviously intended to bait him, rankled deeply. He turned around.

"I already know it works. Let's see if brewing it wasn't a complete waste of time. Can you teach these children anything useful concerning Veritaserum?" He leaned with assumed indolence against the door frame, black eyes glittering coldly.

Black snatched the bottle up. 

"Miss Granger."

Hermione looked warily from one teacher to another. Along with Harry, she had a keen personal interest in keeping these two from harming each other. 

"Yes, Professor Black?"

"I need a volunteer. What do you say?"

She looked as though she wished he'd asked someone else, but nodded. She came forward to take the bottle. 

"How much do I drink?" she asked Snape.

"The entire bottle. It is enough for one person only."

Hermione nodded again, unstoppered the bottle, and drank the contents in one gulp. She set the empty container on the desk and returned to her seat.

Black spoke to the class. "Veritaserum, when mixed correctly," he glanced meaningfully at Snape, "is a weapon not to be underestimated. You _cannot_ lie under its influence. Today's lesson is not aimed at teaching you to resist it; that simply isn't possible. Any falsehood, from the polite social fiction to the concealment of information that could destroy you, cannot stand under its effects. I chose Miss Granger because she is, while a fundamentally honest person, also a kind one. You all need to know what this stuff can make you do. Hermione," he said, focusing on her. She waited, the look on her face making it clear she hoped the question would not be too personal. Black smiled at her.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to ask you about your love life or anything like that." The class laughed again, more relaxed this time. Hermione looked relieved.

"Tell us," he continued. His expression was anticipatory. "How do you feel about Professor Snape?" He leaned against the desk again, waiting for the insults to flow. Snape raised one eyebrow, but waited calmly.

"I…" She paled visibly and pressed her hands against her mouth, trying to stop the words from coming out. Her face held panic. Black walked over to her, and gently removed her hands.

"Don't worry, you can say anything you like. There won't be points or detention. This is for _science_, remember." Another glance at Snape. He repeated his question. "What do you think of Snape?"

"I…" She bit down on her tongue, hard. Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth. Black's face began to look concerned. 

"Is she having a reaction, Snape?" he demanded.

"She's resisting the potion," he answered, striding over to stand in front of Hermione. "Say it, Miss Granger. I can assure you it will be nothing I haven't heard before. I promise not to hold it against you." His voice was unexpectedly gentle. 

Her eyes filled with tears. Her classmates looked alarmed, especially Harry and Ron. It was true that Hermione had been much kinder in her assessment of the Potions Master since the end of their fourth year at Hogwarts. Ever since she had seen the Dark Mark on his arm, she had displayed an increasing sympathy for the impossible position he occupied. She was one of few who were aware that he was an ex-Death Eater who had to pretend to be an active Death Eater. Harry and Ron were also inclined to be more tolerant of him, but their dislike had not completely dissipated. He was still a bastard to them, after all. Her friends understood her reluctance to speak badly of him in front of a room full of people. They could not, however, understand why she appeared to prefer to maim herself rather than speak.

Black eyes gazed into tormented brown ones. "Answer the question," he said softly. "How do you feel about me?"

Her eyes closed, tears slipping beneath the lids.

"I love you."

All movement stopped. The sound of breathing was conspicuously absent. Black looked horrified; Ron and Harry were stunned. 

A spasm of shock crossed Snape's face, to be quickly replaced with rage. Hermione quailed, but he turned from her to face the other teacher.

"Black, what the hell have you done?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, not making any money off 'em. 

Spoilers: As with everything I write, I'm assuming you've read all four published books. If you haven't, you're taking your chances here.

Summary: An object lesson in the hazards of Veritaserum. Snape/Hermione

Rating: R for language. May go up to NC-17 eventually, but no promises. 

****

Tell Me Lies

by Auror Borealis

Chapter 2

"Hermione, are you serious?" Ron's voice broke the silence that followed after Snape's question.

"Good heavens, Ron, I'm on Veritaserum. That was a stupid question, even for you." Hermione's hands flew back up to her mouth, trying uselessly to stop the words. Ron's eyes narrowed. Harry put a hand on his arm.

"It's the potion, Ron. She didn't mean it."

"It's bloody Veritaserum, Harry. She meant every word. Didn't you?"

"Yes, I did." Hermione looked miserable.

Snape and Black were nose to nose, oblivious to everything but their mutual hostility.

"So my best friend thinks I'm stupid," Ron continued. "Don't you?"

"No, not stupid exactly." Anger began to replace fear and discomfort. "If you would just think with the head on your shoulders instead of the one between your legs for something besides chess and Quidditch, you might be halfway intelligent. And I'm not your best friend. I've always been second to Harry." 

"Ron, you can't do this," said Harry urgently. The rest of the class divided its attention between the two simultaneous dramas. The scene between Ron and Hermione had all the morbid fascination of a Muggle car crash; the one between the professors looked promising as well.

"It's not fair," Harry continued. "Asking her what she thinks of you while she's on the potion is the same thing as eavesdropping. It's not right."

Ron didn't take his eyes off of Hermione. "You wouldn't say that if it was you she was talking about. Go ahead. Tell Harry what you think of _him_."

Hermione began to shake.

"You don't have to say anything!" Harry shouted. Snape and Black looked over towards the trio.

"Yes, she does," said Ron grimly. "I've already asked her; she can't not answer."

Already, her mouth was moving involuntarily. 

"I…I…" She clamped down once more on her already abused tongue, then cried out at the pain. "I think you shouldn't talk about eavesdropping, Harry, since you've made a career of it since you've been at Hogwarts."

Harry looked stung, but put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Hermione. I know that's true. At least I know she doesn't have any reason to think _I'm_ stupid…Ron."

Hermione was horrified to discover that she did not have to have a question directed at her in order to feel compelled to respond.

Both teachers knew disaster when they heard it.

"Harry, don't say anything else!" Sirius bellowed.

"Miss Granger, come with me _now_!" Snape was beside her immediately, pushing her towards the door.

It was too late.

"For someone with a lightning-bolt shaped bullseye on his forehead, you put yourself at more risk than anyone I've ever met," said Hermione, crying hard. "You treat Ginny like dirt, thinking she's going to worship you forever, when she's already looking around for your replacement. You've never even asked Sirius about what happened in the Shrieking Shack all those years ago; you just blindly worship him. Of course I think you're stupid. I love you, and you're my best friend, but you're just as much of a prat as Ron is." She fell to her knees with the strength of her sobs. She looked helplessly at Ron and Harry. Neither moved to help her stand. Humiliation and grief radiated in palpable waves from the girl slumped on the floor. 

Snape stood beside her, looking between her and the boys. For once, he appeared at a loss.

Black closed his eyes and shook his head. Guilt and self-loathing dominated his face. He drew Hermione to her feet.

"Come on, Hermione. You can go with me to tell Dumbledore what I've done to you. The rest of you, go back to your houses. Now!" He led her out of the room. Snape followed quietly in their wake.

"What the fuck just happened, Harry?" Ron whispered. His wrath had begun to fade, and he looked a bit ashamed. 

"I think we just lost our best friend." The anger that had flared briefly toward Hermione drained from his features. He looked ready to cry himself.

*****

"Would you two stop it already?" Hermione demanded through her handkerchief. She had managed to stop crying, but her nose still ran copiously. She sat huddled in a chair in the headmaster's office, watching the endless flinging of insults. "If you hadn't acted like immature brats to begin with – especially you, Professor Black – this would never have happened. I've just lost my best friends, and now the whole school knows that I love… that I'm in love with…" Her next words were lost as she blew her nose again. She swallowed. "I think I hate you, Sirius."

"Oh, god, please, Hermione." Black was instantly on his knees beside her. "I had no idea, I swear. I would give anything to undo this."

"I know you didn't know. But you used me to taunt S…Sev…Severus." She couldn't keep his given name in; it was what she called him in the privacy of her thoughts. "I'm not sure I can forgive that."

Black transformed and laid his muzzle on her lap, big dark eyes pleading. His tail wagged, and he whimpered.

She laughed weakly. It sounded like a sob. She waved him away. He curled up at her feet, surreptitiously baring his teeth at Snape.

"Miss Granger, I am more sorry than I can say that you have been placed in such a position. You have shown great strength in the past, however, and I have no doubt that it will see you through this as well. You have several hours before the Veritaserum loses its effect. Until that time, you are welcome to make yourself comfortable here." Dumbledore rose and whistled to Sirius. "I believe I shall take my Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for a walk. While we're gone, why don't you tell Professor Snape in greater detail what it is that you love about him? It may help to pass the time."

Snape glared at the headmaster, but it was Hermione who spoke. Anger at her situation focused into a tight beam, and the Headmaster was in its path. Even so, her next words were wrenched from her. 

"You are the most atrocious, interfering, manipulative old bastard I've ever met." She dropped her face into her hands, wailing. 

Dumbledore gave a merry laugh. "I should hand out Veritaserum to those around me more often. Usually it's only Severus who tells me that." He held the door for Sirius, and then they were gone. 

Snape turned to look out the window as Hermione began. She breathed deeply, trying to banish the tears. 

"I'm not sure why I love you. I just know I've never felt like this about anyone else."

"You're seventeen, Miss Granger. You've barely had time to feel such a thing for anyone."

"I've thought I was in love twice already. It wasn't anything like this. You're the most courageous person I know." Snape snorted harshly. "And I know Harry and Ron, so that's saying something. They're brave to the point of stupidity, but still brave."

"You're not exactly far behind them."

"In what, stupidity or bravery?"

"Bravery. And stupidity, in your choice of whom to honor with your affections. Krum, then Weasley," he looked at her questioningly, and she nodded. "And then me. Unworthy, the lot of us. Especially me."

She looked up resentfully, her eyes red and swollen in her white face. His participation in the conversation was not helping her to keep her mouth shut. 

"You're not unworthy. You're terribly unpleasant, yes. I hate it when you stomp around like an overgrown three-year-old, taking away points and assigning detentions for your own amusement. I've seen the look in your face when you scare your students. You _enjoy _it. I think maybe you've felt like you had to do it, to keep up the appearance of being a proper Death Eater, but you like it, too. You're horrid sometimes. A lot of the time."

He turned to face her. "You're right; I do enjoy it. The fact that you know this leaves me at a loss to understand how you can think that you love me."

"I don't think it. I _do_ love you. Body, mind, heart, soul. Everything. You own me, you have for ages, and you don't have a clue that you do. It's been hard, never telling you how I feel. I've wanted to walk up to you in class, in the Great Hall, everywhere, and kiss you senseless. And I love you because I understand why you're so unkind. If I had to face Voldemort regularly, I'd want a little fun anywhere I could get it, even if it meant hurting someone else's feelings. There are worse things than being picked on by horrid, greasy Professor Snape. I think maybe it's worse to _be_ horrid, greasy Professor Snape. I don't know what it is you go through. I don't have any idea. But you go through it, and come back and I see you try to get over it, and then you go again. And you do it for us; even not liking us, you do it for us anyway. How can I not love that about you?" She blew her nose once more. 

"Don't romanticize me, Hermione." He didn't appear to notice that he'd called her by her first name. She did, and it made her smile a little. "I'm a great deal more than _unpleasant_. I am in fact the monster you all think me."

"Perhaps you were. I'm not saying I don't care, because I do. I'd like for you to tell me about it sometime, if you're willing. I want to know all about you, the bad with the good. Don't look at me like that. I know there's good. I would give a great deal for you to share that much of yourself with me, to trust me that much. But you're not a monster now. You can't be, or Dumbledore would not allow you to be here. And no matter what you've been, I love you. And I'm terribly, terribly sorry that you were embarrassed in Defense today. I could cheerfully kill Sirius." Snape blinked. The Veritaserum ensured that that was not an idle remark; he'd have to warn the animagus. "I wish you could love me back. I could die happily right this moment if you said you loved me. But please don't hate me." The involuntary rush of words finally played out, and she slumped in her chair. 

Snape paced the office, his eyes darting to the trembling girl and then away again, over and over. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for such a situation. 

"I can't tell you I love you, Miss Granger. I've never thought about you in those terms." The expected tears welled, but she regarded him calmly otherwise. "I've always admired your intelligence, even if it seemed otherwise. I'm flattered beyond words that you can feel like this for me. I don't know what can be done to repair things between you and your thick-headed friends, but at least you need not worry about me. I do not believe that I could ever hate you. Is there anything I can do that might help you to feel better?" He cursed himself as the words left his mouth. Remember the Veritaserum, you idiot, he said to himself. Don't make polite, meaningless offers of comfort.

"You can come over here and kiss me. I know you don't love me, but it would sure make me feel better about pretty much everything." He stayed where he was, and she read the indecision in his face. "If you truly don't want to, then I would rather you didn't. But if you want to and you're stopping yourself because you're a teacher and I'm a student, I wish like hell you'd forget about that for a moment and give me a proper snog. Please," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I need you to touch me."

He looked at her tear-blotched face. The appeal in those red eyes was overwhelming. 

"You understand that I don't return your feelings?" Severus, he screamed at himself inwardly, you cannot even be _considering_… 

"Perfectly."

He walked to her and she rose to meet him. He wrapped his arms around her and bent his mouth to hers. 

They were still kissing when Dumbledore and Sirius returned. Snape, looking slightly dazed, hastily disengaged himself when the handle turned and moved to put some distance between them. Hermione looked badly disappointed, but returned to her chair.

Sirius was a man once again, and was visibly more chastened than before. He didn't even glare at Snape as he passed him to stand by Hermione's chair.

"Hermione?" He bit his lip. "I promise I'll never do it again. Forgive me." 

She looked at him, then to Snape. 

"I'll forgive you, if you'll tell me one thing."

"Anything."

"Why did you try to feed Severus to a werewolf?"

Sirius went white. Snape rubbed his hand across his eyes. 

"Excellent. I'll just have the house elves send dinner up here, shall I?" Dumbledore beamed. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, not making any money off 'em. 

Spoilers: As with everything I write, I'm assuming you've read all four published books. If you haven't, you're taking your chances here.

Summary: An object lesson in the hazards of Veritaserum. Snape/Hermione **This chapter introduces a Harry/Ginny subplot. That pairing may or may not change; you'll be warned if it does. Also contains implied SLASH.**

Rating: R for language. May go up to NC-17 eventually, but no promises. 

****

Tell Me Lies

by Auror Borealis

Chapter 3

Sirius transformed again, and curled up by the fire to wait for dinner. Dumbledore offered Severus a snifter of brandy, which the younger man accepted gratefully. He downed it in one swallow, then held out the glass to be refilled. Hermione was offered pumpkin juice, to her dismay. She had not yet tried alcohol, beyond Butterbeer, but felt she could have used a stiff jolt of, well, anything. She felt drained from the strong emotion which had swirled inside her for more than an hour. Spilling secrets was exhausting, she mused. No wonder Severus was so very private. 

She wondered what Harry and Ron were doing. Oh my god, she thought, sitting up suddenly. Three pairs of eyes turned to her, but no one voiced a question. She clapped her hand over her mouth instinctively, and turned her face away. Oh, Jesus, she thought, horrified. Ginny.

*****

Ginny Weasley was, at that moment, on the back of Harry's Firebolt as it sped off towards the Quidditch stadium. He landed it neatly on the grass and, for once, did not give her his hand as she dismounted. 

Ginny eyed her boyfriend warily. He had stormed into the Gryffindor common room a short time earlier and headed for his dormitory without a word. A minute later he came back, broomstick in hand, and hauled her to her feet, heedless of scattered books, quills, and parchment. Neville, Seamus, and several others had watched wide-eyed as he pulled her towards the door, ignoring her puzzled questions. Once in the hallway, he had turned to her, green eyes cool. 

"We have to talk. Come on," was all he said. Gripping her hand almost painfully, he'd walked rapidly to the front doors of the school, making her nearly run to keep up. He'd climbed onto the broom and looked at her.

"Well?"

Bewildered, she mounted behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Part of her mind told her not to get on his broom until she knew exactly what the hell this was all about. It was overruled by the part of her mind that did not want any ensuing argument, if there was going to be one, overheard by anyone on this side of the castle who happened to have their windows open. 

He pushed off with more force than was necessary, and she pressed the side of her face into his back as he flew. She could not imagine what had him so upset. Searching her mind, she tried to come up with something, anything, that could explain this extraordinary behavior. She was guiltily aware of a conversation she'd had with Hermione a couple of days before. Ginny had confessed to the older girl that she was growing tired of coming second to everything else in Harry's life. Quidditch, her brother Ron, Hermione herself. She told Hermione that she wanted a boyfriend who made her feel loved. Harry made her feel… _convenient_. Enough, she'd said, was enough. 

There was no way Harry could know of that; Hermione, for all that she was Harry's best friend rather than her own, would not have told him. She was certain of that.

Harry dismounted and laid the Firebolt on the ground before advancing on her in a very un-Harry-like way. Startled, she retreated until her back was against the wall at the bottom of the stands. He trapped her by placing one hand against the wall on either side of her. Her eyes grew round in her face, and her lips parted slightly. She was worried about Harry's uncharacteristic behavior, but at the same time, this side of him was rather exciting. A shiver went through her.

Without warning, he kissed her. His mouth was hard, ungentle, demanding. He pressed against her body so she could feel the hardness of him pulsing against her belly. Her stomach fluttered madly. What on earth has gotten into him? she wondered, but she kissed him back. He growled into her mouth, and she answered him. She pushed her hands into his messy black hair, pulling him closer, trying to infuse as much love as she could into her kiss. He lowered his own hands and slid them down her back, bringing them to rest on her buttocks. He pulled her against him roughly, and his erection seemed to burn her through the layers of fabric. It occurred to her that her excitement over his treatment of her sprung from the fact that, for once, he was truly focused on her and her alone. The concept bothered her for its very novelty, and for the fact that this was how his attentiveness found its expression. She placed her hands on his chest to push him away, but he grabbed her wrists in his strong hands, pinning her between him and the wall. She felt a thrill of fear. 

"Are you going to break up with me?" he spat the words into her mouth. His lips were bruising on hers, but the panic she'd started to feel dissolved at this question, it was so unexpected.

Her eyes widened once more, and the shock in them seemed to bring him to a sense of what he was doing. His face flushed and he took a step backwards, still not releasing her hands. His face took on a more uncertain look.

"Please tell me. Are you dumping me?"

Ginny did not know what to say. How had he ever paid enough attention to her to guess what was in her mind? 

"Harry, what is this about?" She tried to fill her voice with sternness, and succeeded beyond her dreams. She realized that she sounded just like her mother. Harry had apparently noticed it as well, for he let her go and moved away, looking for all the world like the errant child he no longer was.

"Hermione said you were looking around for my replacement."

Ginny froze in shock. Hermione, you great bloody bitch, she thought. I'll never trust you again.

"I didn't quite say that," she finally managed to get out. 

"_Quite_?" His brows rose behind his glasses. "So what _exactly_ did you say?"

Ginny tried to remember that she was the injured party. 

"I said I want a boyfriend who gives a damn whether I'm around or not. I said that I didn't think that would ever describe you."

Harry recoiled as though she'd struck him.

"So what else did that backstabbing bitch tell you?" Ginny demanded.

Harry's expression grew dangerous. "Don't talk about Hermione like that."

"Oh, right, I forgot. Let's see here, Harry Potter's list of priorities." She mimicked thinking about it for a moment. "Item one, Quidditch. Item two, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Item three… let's see, item four… Nope."

"What the hell are you going on about?"

"No, I don't see it anywhere. 'Ginny Weasley.' No, not on the list. How dare I complain about your best friend betraying my confidence? I'm only the girl you fuck when you can be bothered to remember that I exist. I can't think how I could have forgotten that I don't matter."

She moved suddenly around him, grabbed the Firebolt, and was airborne before he could react. She called back over her shoulder to him as she flew away, leaving him standing stunned on the grass.

"Fuck you, Harry."

*****

Dinner was a culinary miracle, the sort of thing that never appeared in the Great Hall. It made perfect sense to Hermione that the house elves would knock themselves out, probably literally, to please the headmaster. Conversation was desultory as they ate, and only Dumbledore directed any questions or comments towards Hermione. She was perfectly happy to tell him exactly what she thought of her Arithmancy class. Sirius's eyes glazed over with boredom, and she thought that perhaps Severus's did too, just a bit. 

After dinner, Dumbledore settled himself comfortably in an overstuffed armchair. His phoenix, Fawkes, came to rest on the arm. The Headmaster stroked the bird lovingly.

"I believe you had a question for Professor Black, Hermione?"

"Don't even think about it, Black." Snape's voice was knife-edged. Sirius' outline had blurred almost imperceptibly. The animagus looked guilty as he took another armchair. 

A knock sounded at the door.

"Ah, just in time. Come in, Remus!" called Dumbledore.

Sirius closed his eyes as though in pain. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner, Albus. I hope I haven't kept you waiting?" Remus Lupin looked around curiously at the assembled group.

"Not at all. I simply thought you might like to be here for this. Sirius was just about to explain to Miss Granger why he tried to lure Severus into the Shrieking Shack all those years ago." Dumbledore smiled, but the characteristic twinkle in his eyes was absent.

Remus looked at Hermione.

"May I ask why Miss Granger needs to know about this?" His tone was cool, but as he was apprised of the day's events, his expression warmed somewhat. He took her hand.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he said, before turning to Sirius. "Prat."

Sirius hung his head.

"Get on with, Black. I've wasted enough of my day as it is." 

"Severus, I think this is going to be hard enough for him as it is, without you snarking at him. Why don't you just shut up and let him talk?" Hermione blurted. 

"I beg your pardon, Miss Granger." Snape's voice was sarcastically contrite. Lupin laughed.

"Forget about Snape and marry me, Hermione," the werewolf offered. 

Hermione looked aghast at her outburst, but no longer in danger of tears.

"You can't marry her, Remus," Sirius said bluntly. "You're gay."

Hermione gasped at the unexpected revelation. 

Lupin smiled apologetically. "So I am. I'm also attached, I believe." This was news to Hermione. "I'm afraid I can't marry you after all. But I'm not the only one ineligible for that reason."

She followed his gaze to Sirius, who nodded. She felt light-headed. Harry's godfather? She wondered if Harry knew. An unwelcome thought struck her, and her eyes flew to Snape. He raised his hands, as if to ward off the thought.

"No," was all he said.

"Well, I was pretty sure you couldn't be, not after that kiss." Silence fell. "Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," she exclaimed, borrowing a phrase from Seamus. "I'm sorry, Severus." She rose and began to pace in panicked circles. 

"I don't want to hear this anymore. May I go now, Professor Dumbledore?" Her voice was choked.

"Where were you thinking of going?" he asked.

"To throw myself out of the Astronomy Tower." She clutched her stomach as though it hurt.

"In that case, I'm afraid the answer must be no. Do sit down, my dear." Even the smile was gone now; Dumbledore looked grave. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing, kissing a student?" Black snarled.

"Exercising poor judgement, obviously. Would you prefer to sack me now or after this cur answers Miss Granger's question, Albus?" Snape's tone was indifferent. 

"You can't sack him, Professor! It was all my fault. I… I begged him to kiss me. He didn't want to; he was just being kind. And if you touch him again, Sirius, I'll sneak into your room while you sleep and fix you." Hermione's face was parchment white. 

Remus tried to smother a laugh, but Snape shook his head. "Remember, Lupin; Veritaserum." The werewolf's expression turned to horror.

"You're a bloodthirsty wench, Miss Granger," said Severus mildly. "I had planned to warn you, Sirius."

"As I don't wish to find out what my fate would be were I to do so, I don't believe I'll sack you at all, Severus. Sirius, if you please…" His earlier cheerfulness at the prospect of the tale had evaporated. Dumbledore now appeared rather tense. Hermione thought it must be her imagination that he was nervous. Such a word could never be used to describe the Headmaster of Hogwarts. 

The animagus sighed and looked at Hermione. "I'm about to tell you something that even Harry doesn't know. I'll tell him later, I suppose; I should have told him a long time ago. Remus is my lover. He has been since we were here as students." 

Hermione appeared less shocked at this revelation than she might have. "I figured that might be the case, or you wouldn't have bothered to tell me you're both gay. But what does it have to do with what you tried to do to Severus?"

Sirius looked at Remus as he answered. "I was jealous." Remus walked over to Sirius and sat on the arm of his chair, taking his hand.

"You know that I didn't get along with Snape, even back then. Neither did James, or Peter." Black's expression hardened at the name, but his expression cleared quickly. "But Remus did. They were friends. I couldn't understand it. All Remus would say was that he wasn't as bad as I thought he was, and that I ought to give him a chance. I'd see them in the library, talking like they were the only two people in the world. I thought… I'm so sorry, Remus. But you see, Hermione, I thought Remus was cheating on me."

"With Severus?" Her voice squeaked. "But he just said he's not…"

Snape regarded Black with a bored expression.

"No, and of course they weren't doing anything of the sort. But I was so possessive of Remus. Unhealthily so. The thought that they were… it ate away at me. I wanted to kill him, and I wanted to kill Remus too." Tears spilled down his face. Lupin gripped his hand tighter. Snape rolled his eyes.

"So you lured Severus to the Shrieking Shack…" Hermione whispered, looking sick. 

"Yes. It wasn't a prank, or a joke, or a harmless bit of fun. I meant for him to die, and I meant for his death to destroy Remus too. But then I ran into James. He could tell from my face that I'd done something horrible. He knew I was jealous of Snape; I think he knew that I was almost insane with it. He ran to the Shack, and he tried to pull Snape away. It was almost too late. They could have both died, and then Remus… oh, god, Remus…" He lurched up and out of his chair, sobbing violently. Lupin followed him out of the room.

Hermione was torn between guilt at making Sirius relive the incident, and boiling fury for his having almost killed the man she loved. Snape and Dumbledore did not speak. Their faces were both impassive, but she was suddenly certain each man was looking back into the past with pain. 

"You hated Professor Lupin when he came back to Hogwarts. Why?" She didn't want to know anymore, but the question seemed to ask itself. She didn't know if it was due to the Veritaserum or not. 

"I thought that he was in on Black's plan. I was sure that I'd been set up by him. I never gave him a chance to explain. After all, there did seem to me to be a conspiracy concerning the incident." Snape's face convulsed briefly before settling into an unreadable mask. For a second, he had gazed at Dumbledore with what appeared to Hermione to be… loathing, perhaps? Betrayal? She couldn't tell, but that brief glimpse had conveyed deep hurt. 

"Why wasn't Sirius expelled? Why didn't he go to Azkaban?" She looked at Dumbledore as though seeing him for the first time. To Hermione's astonishment, the old wizard seemed to flinch slightly under her gaze. Pain filled his face, making him seem much older than his century and a half.

"Prejudice, Hermione, pure and simple. It was my worst moment as Headmaster. I simply could not accept that my bright, shining Gryffindor could be capable of such a heinous act, and so I made excuses for him. I felt that since a Slytherin was involved, some of the blame must necessarily lie with him. I forbade Severus, on pain of expulsion, from discussing the incident with anyone. I refused to give him justice in any measure. When he came to me, many months later, to confess his actions as a Death Eater, I saw my chance at redemption and took it. I still have not accomplished it; you still suffer for that night, do you not, my boy?" Tears filled the blue eyes. Hermione had never thought to see Dumbledore cry, and the sight shook her to the core. "With that one night's work, I pushed you into the arms of Voldemort."

Snape was out of his chair instantly, kneeling beside the ancient wizard.

"No, Albus. I've told you before, I would have gone regardless. You saved me from the Dementors. You have repaid your debt to me." He laid his head on Dumbledore's knee, tears trickling down his face, and the Headmaster reached up one frail hand to stroke the black hair.

This was far too private. Hermione felt that she could not bear witness to the scene for another second. Her image of Hogwarts as a haven of safety and security was crashing down around her. She rose and backed away.

"Please… I can't stay… please, sir, may I go?" She could barely croak out the words.

"I'm sorry you've had to see this, Miss Granger. It is a heavy burden for a young girl, and I have to apologize to you for placing it on your shoulders. But you must stay until the Veritaserum loses its effect. What you've heard today, you must keep to yourself. I have no doubt that I can trust you to do so."

Hermione bit her lip and looked away. The Potions Master raised his head, then staggered to his feet. 

"I wish today had never happened," she said. 

"As do I. As I am not under the effects of a truth potion, I hope I am allowed to go?" Snape's face, although pale, was composed. 

"Of course, Severus." 

Snape stopped by Hermione for a moment. He raised his hand, as though to touch her shoulder, but withdrew it again. Then he was gone.

Dumbledore retreated behind his desk and rifled through a drawer.

"Why did you let Professor Black tell me?" 

"You said that you would forgive him if he did so." 

"But sir, you knew what he was going to say. I just can't believe that Sirius could do something so…_ awful_. This is going to kill Harry."

"Disappoint him, perhaps. But like yourself, he is old enough to face the knowledge that his elders are not always as wise and good as we take care to appear. It is a harsh lesson, but it comes to everyone." He finally found what he was looking for, and laid a pack of Muggle playing cards on his desk.

"But Sirius tried to _kill_ Severus! Not to mention what he almost did to Professor Lupin. I said I would forgive him, but how can I? I'm not sure I can even look at him ever again. And Professor…" Once again, the words were wrenched from her. "You could have told him not to answer me. How could you do this to me?"

"It's no great difficulty for an atrocious, interfering, manipulative old bastard, my dear." Amazingly to Hermione, the twinkle had reappeared. "It was very bad of me, I know, but I confess that I wanted to see how you would bear up under unpleasant discoveries. I believe that you told Professor Snape that you wanted to hear about his past. Now that you have a taste of what 'unpleasant' can mean, do you still wish to hear him?"

Hermione considered this carefully. 

"Yes, I do."

"What Professor Snape has to say, should he ever offer you his confidences, may make today's discussion seem quite tame by comparison."

She shuddered at the notion. 

"I'd listen."

"Then perhaps I am not the only one who might be curious about your ability to withstand difficult revelations. One never knows what could depend on your ability to forgive Professor Black. Would you care for a game of poker, Miss Granger? We'll use lemon drops as stakes. I've never had the opportunity to play an opponent who was under the influence of Veritaserum." 

Hermione scooped up the cards he dealt her, her mind far away from the game. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, not making any money off 'em. 

Spoilers: As with everything I write, I'm assuming you've read all four published books. If you haven't, you're taking your chances here.

Summary: An object lesson in the hazards of Veritaserum. Snape/Hermione 

Rating: R for language. May go up to NC-17 eventually, but no promises. 

****

Tell Me Lies

by Auror Borealis

Chapter 4

The common room was empty when Hermione walked cautiously through the portrait hole, or so it seemed until a voice spoke her name. Ginny Weasley sat up from where she'd been laying on the sofa before the fireplace.

"I need to talk to you," the younger girl said sleepily. Resigned, Hermione dropped into an adjacent armchair.

"I'm really sorry, Gin. I couldn't help it."

"I know you couldn't. I… I called you some terrible names, before I knew about the Veritaserum. I wanted to apologize."

"I guess Harry talked to you then?"

"You could say that," the younger girl said bitterly.

"What happened?"

"We had a fight. I told him to, um… I told him to get lost, sort of. We ended up talking after dinner." Ginny's face was terribly pale, Hermione noted. "We broke up."

"Ginny, I'm so sorry." Hermione cursed herself and Sirius Black once more.

"Don't be. It's sort of a relief, actually. I was never going to mean as much to him as I wanted to, and it's better that we got it sorted out now than later."

"Are you all right?"

"I miss him, but… I'm ready to move on. I really am." Ginny's voice was determined, and not as heartbroken as Hermione had feared it would be.

"He's my best friend, but he _is_ a prat where you're concerned. But for what it's worth, I think he really does love you."

"Pardon me if I don't think that's worth much at this point," Ginny replied acerbically. "But I didn't wait up to talk about me and Harry. How are _you_ doing?"

"Let's see… I confessed my undying devotion to Professor Snape in front of my entire Defense class today, for starters," she said, watching Ginny's face for her reaction.

"I know. All of Hogwarts knows." 

Hermione winced, but was not surprised. 

"I alienated my two best friends, and I forced Sirius Black to reveal a few things about himself that I really wish I didn't know. I also called Professor Dumbledore a bastard to his face. All in all, it's been a busy day." 

Ginny laughed. 

"I _really_ wish I could have been there for that last part. Was he angry?"

"No, actually, he seemed amused. I don't think he's going to hold it against me. But Severus… Professor Snape…"

Ginny's face sobered.

"Hermione, I know I can't talk where judgment and men are concerned, but… _Snape_?"

Hermione nodded. She knew perfectly well that she was going to hear much worse tomorrow. Tonight, perhaps, if Parvati and Lavender were waiting up for her.

"Honestly, Gin, he's a good man. Not a nice one, but he's brave, and he's smart, and he's got the most incredible eyes. And his voice is heavenly, when it's not taking away points."

"I just can't imagine you secretly pining away for Snape."

"You needn't imagine it any more. I'll be doing my pining publicly from now on."

"Oh, Hermione…" Ginny rose to embrace her friend. "If anyone knows what that's like, it's me. I never, ever thought my feelings for Harry would fade. But I think they really have begun to, finally. And besides, you've been the model of restraint. I had _no_ idea. I don't think anyone did. But when I think about that valentine I sent Harry in first year…" She broke off, shuddering. "If anyone gives you a hard time, I'll hex them, I promise."

Hermione hugged her back, hard.

"Thanks for not hating me, about Harry, I mean. I know you wanted to talk to him about things, but that can't be how you wanted it brought up."

Ginny snorted.

"If I blame anyone, it'll be Professor Black. I'm not that fond of him anyway."

Hermione looked amazed at this.

"He's nice enough, but really, he's a hopeless prat sometimes. I'll never understand why Harry worships him like he does." She gave Hermione a push. "You look half dead. Go on up to bed now."

Hermione rose unsteadily. Ginny was right, she needed sleep desperately. The day had been draining. As awful as the day had been, her heart felt a little lighter as she climbed the steps to her dormitory. She'd managed to keep at least one friend.

*****

"I just don't know why you never told me before this," Harry said, unable to meet Sirius' gaze. He was in Sirius' rooms well past curfew, but that didn't matter; his godfather would give him a pass that would keep him out of trouble until he returned to Gryffindor. "Did you think I'd have a problem with you being gay?"

"I hoped you wouldn't," Sirius replied. Remus watched them from a chair across the room, saying nothing. It was at his insistence that Sirius was finally bringing their relationship into the open, and Sirius had insisted in return that he remain to provide moral support. "I was mostly afraid it would lead to you finding out about what I did to Snape, and to Remus. I should have told you _that_ a couple of years ago. I just couldn't bear the idea of you knowing that I did something like that."

Harry was silent for a few minutes. He couldn't honestly say it didn't matter; it did. He'd spent a couple of years despising Snape for holding a grudge against Sirius for a 'schoolboy prank.' Honesty made him admit that in Snape's place, he'd probably hate Sirius too. He looked helplessly at Remus for guidance.

"I've forgiven him, Harry, and I hope you will, too. Jealousy can make us do terrible things, and believe me, he's paid for it," the werewolf said gently. Harry swallowed, thinking about how jealousy had caused him to treat Ginny that very afternoon. With one possessive tantrum, he'd lost her. Well, he admitted to himself, one tantrum and years of indifference in varying degrees. 

"How could you do that today, then?" he asked. "How could you use Hermione…" Anger washed over him at the thought of his friend. Sirius had done this, too. 

Sirius' head dropped into his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. I simply didn't think."

"Snape's right, isn't he?" Harry laughed harshly. "That should be the Gryffindor motto. 'I'm sorry, I didn't think.' But I guess it applies to me, too, doesn't it?" He sighed. "So now I understand why he still hates you. Why do you still hate him?"

"I held onto that hate in Azkaban. It's part of what kept me sane. It wasn't fair, but I needed it." His eyes pleaded for Harry to understand. "When I got out, it was too much a part of me to simply let it go."

"You're not in Azkaban anymore, Sirius," Remus finally said. "It's time to grow up."

"But, Remus… _Snape_…"

Lupin looked at him sternly. 

"You're supposed to provide an example for Harry. Is this what you want him to learn?"

"No," the animagus said. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. About everything." He looked up to see Harry's earnest green gaze on him. The young man was smiling. To keep from disillusioning his godson, he decided, he'd make peace with Snape, or die trying. He could only hope that it would be a lovely funeral.

  



End file.
